It's now in the heat of third semester and currently block weekend...whilst studying RNA viruses I find myself saying to a friend...

"No, not yet, I haven't gotten around to reviewing the Filoviruses yet...but I can't wait! I was so into Ebola when I was a kid." 

I picture most teenage girl bedrooms being studded with posters of boybands and cool movies, reading Seventeen magazine and Cosmo, teen Edition...My room on the hand, studded with moon maps, pictures and books about Ebola, sci-fi classics like the Andromeda Strain, the Hot Zone, Michael Crichton's entire collection...even the books written under his pen name, Jeffery Hudson...

I am starting to see that a love of science truly enhances the study of medicine. I'm not quite sure how I would get through the countless, relentless hours that are spend engorged in the books otherwise. Well actually nowadays, no one reads textbooks anymore...we med students all have developed an undying, intimate relationship with our laptops which have mostly replaced textbooks and writing notes. Either way, you learn because you must...or you learn because you love to.

9 more exams stand between me, home and the end of the dreaded third semester! 

Beating med school one day at a time. 

It's the beginning of first semester and I find myself seeking some advice. Good old Huffington Post provides some tidbits of information:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-secemsky/how-to-survive-med-school_b_1992754.html

Being the first weekend of second semester, I took the opportunity today to learn how to scuba dive. Although inclement weather postponed the open ocean dive, learning to breathe underwater in the controlled environment of a swimming pool proved to be a wholly exhilarating and slightly creepy experience. During a moment of panic, Phil had to calm me down with a poolside pep talk as he paced back and forth above me, making sure I was ok. At one point while I was getting accustomed to breathing with the regulator, I saw his hand descend into the water, giving me the diving signal for 'everything is ok'. He continued to give me directions with his hand as I kneeled on the pool floor trying to convince my brain that I could indeed survive breathing in this fashion. Best husband ever.

I am excited to get back in the water and of course to see all the wonderful marine life here in Saba. A truly unique perk of being a Caribbean medical student. On that note, getting back to the grind has proven to be a little challenging. I am dreading Phil's departure back to Vancouver next week, however I know the time will fly by and we will be reunited again in August.

Medical school requires all one's energy, focus and time and thus I know the semester will go by quickly. Back to the life of a drill sergeant for me. Hello 90 hour study weeks...I am prepared to kick your *ss.

Adieu sweet world for now.

Twelve days, 3 quizzes, 2 finals and 1 shelf exam stand between me and the culmination of my first semester of medical school. It is a rainy day here on Saba and when I say rain, I mean torrential downpour. Today, the rain is truly a blessing as nearly empty cisterns which provide the only means of 'free' water on the island, will now be overflowing again. I find myself comforted by the rainy, dreary day as I am reminded of home. It's interesting to think of how much rain is often cursed in a city like vancouver, where half the year is covered in a gray cloud of rain, but here on Saba, it's truly a Godsent blessing.

Although I feel an overwhelming urge to make paper boats and float them down the fast flowing rivers that have formed outside my house, I have to resist this clearly childish urge in order to get some serious studying time in :(

Looking back, I can see how far we've all come as medical students. I remember when this cartoon was actually funny. However, after block 4 anatomy, I actually know what those structures are...totally killed the funny.

I suppose there's only forward to go from here. And since that includes going home to all that I love, including the face of my most favorite person in the world aka: hubby, I find myself bursting with joy and gratitude today.

Home is a word that is so closely associated with all that I love that it's almost painful to think of it from such a far distance, yet today thinking of the adventures I've had here on the island, the amazing hikes, new friends, the sense of accomplishment, being poisoned...yeah that was scary...I can't help but to feel as though I'll miss the island while I'm gone. But I'm certain second semester will bring new adventures of its own :D

I've posted a few photos from a short hike to the tidepools yesterday with Courtney and Bella. The hike through a labyrinth of razor sharp rocks, incredible heat radiated by the rocks and mini cliffs that surround you on all sides...aka: Mordor, brings you to delightful tidepools that have formed in the recesses of the rock formation and are full of life. We didn't have too much time to explore this intriguing little area near the airport, and so I plan to return as soon as I possibly can :)

Home stretch, here we go!

"Is this all you can conjure up Saruman?"

Ok so Lord of the rings is my all time favorite trilogy and that line pretty much sums up what I would say to med school if it were a person.

Block 2: aka: block from hell, has been coined as the hardest block ever. I am happy to say that I survived and sitting here post block I am feeling pretty darn good.

Not to say there weren't moments when I wondered what the heck I had gotten myself into and if I was cut out for this. After a run in with an extremely poisonous fruit a couple weeks before blocks and spending a few days in the hospital or at home trying to snap out of my Valium induced drugged state, i lost a few days of studying. Losing just two days of studying in med school is suicide and so needless to say, I felt behind the entire time leading up to blocks. In the nights preceding blocks while studying 16 hours per day and feeling guilty while taking a break to eat or shower or pee, one may ask themselves why they did this to themselves. But the sun always shines again and once you survive the pre-block madness, you feel the sun shining again on your face, there are rainbows and birds singing...well in the case of Saba, it's chickens.

I have to say that I am truly enjoying my time in med school and on this island. Despite all the horror stories I had read about this place and all the complaints I hear, there isn't anything I would change about it, even if I magically had the power to do so. There isn't really anything else I would rather be doing with my time.

Now if my husband were with me, this would truly be my own private paradise. I miss him dearly and with Valentine's day coming up I can't help but to wish I could transport myself back home for the weekend just to have dinner together, hang out, watch a movie...and more :)

Miss you Philip Chin!

Now back to studying.

S.

As one would expect on an island that is little more than a speck on a map, there are some things that are hard to come by here on Saba. Being a student exacerbates this many fold. Of the many comforts of home that one would miss, being able to do laundry is one that most students have to deal with. The smell of fresh, clean clothes can transport one to the heights of heaven.

Asian food...delicious, soupy, brothy Asian dishes infused with fragrances from the exotic east, spices that tease the tongue in ways that mere potatoes, broccoli and carrots simply cannot...is what I miss most. I dream of the day when I will be indulging in a bowl of Japanese ramen, Vietnamese pho or one of my mom's homemade Korean soup dishes...mmm. I could burst into song about all the bowls of soup I dream of. Tonight, however was a night where dreams were exchanged.

A bowl of hot traditional Mong soup from my neighbor in exchange for the use of my washer and dryer. It's truly amazing how one comes to appreciate the little things in life when they are separated from the abundance and riches of North American life.

One sniff of his clean laundry was enough to produce a look of euphoria on my neighbor's face. Probably similar to the one I made while eating my bowl of Mong soup. :D

Now to learn how to make this for my husband one day :)

Here on Saba, the riches of life happens in the details. So subtle and sweet that they could easily be missed. I am convinced that I will miss this place dearly once I leave.

Warning: graphic images of ravaged soup

So the story goes... when I had first arrived on the island of Saba, Phil, our Alaskan friend Wayne and I had began to explore this Jurrasic Park-esq island, trail by trail. On one trail named the Spring Bay trail, we were brought to the more arid and windy eastern side of the island where we were offered beautiful views of the coastline. On the way down the trail we came upon a bush that had little, green apple-like fruit growing on it. In some craze of carelessness I picked one off and smelled it. Mmm pure bliss! The little fruit smelled of guava fruit. I took a tiny bite. As soon as I bit into it I knew something wasn't right and spit it out. For the next two hours I had a burning sensation in my throat that eventually subsided in a couple of hours. Needless to say, I made a mental note to stay clear of this tantalizing fruit.

Three weeks later, on the same hike with some fellow students I wanted to show to my friends a plant that smelled sweet but was most likely toxic. In doing so I sniffed up some of it's deadly juices up my nose into the fragile mucous membranes that line the nose. This time was different. I knew immediately that this second reaction was much worse! After a few hours my nose felt as though I had crushed up hot chili peppers and stuffed them up my nose. I have never been pepper sprayed before but I would think that the feeling would be similar. The burning sensation was only temporarily relieved by breathing fresh air in. The burning and swelling of my nose continued to worsen. My nose became tender to the touch as though there were blisters or open sores inside my nose. By the time the swelling reached my throat, along with a sensation akin to a raging fire in my nose, it was extremely hard to breath.

My experience at the hospital, both the first and second time were interesting. I wish not to divulge the experience one would have at a hospital on a small Caribbean island for fear that people may wrongly judge such a wonderful place as Saba, but I will say that the health care I received was short of what I would expect back home. After 4 or so hours dozing in and out of consciousness I decided I wanted to go home. I now vividly remember walking down the empty hospital corridor, holding on to the wall for support in my drugged state and asking the nurse if I could go home. To which she replied, "please go back to your room." I obliged. I decided however, that I did indeed want to go home and a second time wobbled down the corridor to a different nurse, "I would like to go home please, could you call me a cab?" She responded, "are you sure you want to go home? You don't look so good." With my swollen nose, heavy breathing, swollen, half shut left eye and in a drugged state I said with all my heart, yes. A friend picked me up and after coming home and another several hours of intense burning, and labored breathing...the symptoms finally subsided. Overall the symptoms lasted over 12 hours before they subsided.

A little about the "Apple of Death" that did this to me.

Manchineel. Hippomane mancinella.

Aka: Little apple of death, poison guava, beach apple.

One of the most poisonous trees in the world, it grows near and on beaches throughout the Caribbean and Central America.

Contact with the manchineel tree, it's bark, leaves, fruit or sap can cause blistering, burns, inflammation and swelling when in contact with skin, mucous membranes and eyes.

Carib Indians used the sap of this tree to poison their darts and were known to poison the water supply of their enemies with the leaves. As a form of torture they would tie victims to this tree and leave them exposed.

Although thoughts of dying alone on this island did cross my mind, it was all no more than a learning experience. One that I will most definitely never forget.

I have learned:

1) the smell of formaldehyde no longer stimulates a gag reflex

2) having human tissue remnants on your scrubs no longer bothers you

3) waking up in the middle of the night several times thinking about different anatomical structures is completely normal

4) all the books you read and documentaries you watched about the importance of eating healthy, eating raw and organic pretty much do not apply anymore

5) memorizing so many new facts causes you to forget everyday terms and items such as, the thingy that opens the thing...

6) you begin to not shower as often as you once thought normal and/or hygienic.

:)

It's about 5 degrees outside and raining here in Vancouver and I can't remember what wearing a t-shirt outside even feels like. It's been a bit of a challenge trying to decide what to bring over to the island with me. Good news is that I finally found a place. The owner was perhaps the friendliest voice I've ever heard on the other side of a telephone...he kept on calling me man, but more like in the context of, yeah man. Cool. 

Back to packing. So far I have a flashlight, about 10 highlighters, a few other writing tools, a 2014 agenda and my netter's anatomy atlas. Progress has been slow...

I secretly wish that I could transport my entire home over to Saba. Kind of like in the Wizard of Oz, minus the squashing of innocent witches part. Or like in Up, with a bunch of helium balloons!!

I wonder if I will miss the comforts of my Vancouver life...But I know that...

On a side note: tomorrow I will be going scrubs and lab coat shopping...for some reason, the thought of it keeps making me smile a big goofy one =D

Goodnight!

are we there yet...are we there yet? 

actually the question of the last few months has been, "are you excited?" since there's only one month now between my cozy vancouver life and my departure for the caribbean and medical school, inquiring minds have been asking me if i am indeed excited. rightly so. but i can't help but to cringe every time i am asked those three words. not that i am not excited, what could there be not to be excited about...in one month time i will be on a pristine caribbean island studying medicine, free of distraction and working towards realizing the aspirations, goals and dreams i have nurtured for nearly 5 years. other than the fact that it hasn't quite hit me that i am going to medical school...i think the true crutch in this nearly perfect story of dreams coming true is...that my best friend, my husband, my rock and anchor will be thousands of miles away from me for the most part of this journey =(

but thank goodness for the internet. i imagine our communications in the pre-world wide web days being something akin to the scarlet letter days of ink and quills and letters enclosed with wax seals...now we have a myriad of communication tools to use via the internet that will keep my hubby and i as close digitally as we can possibly be. 

despite the challenges that i may face in my marriage being so far away from my husband, i believe that our relationship will only become that much stronger. we have also begun to buy lottery tickets. perhaps the winning ticket will land in our hands and will reward us the opportunity to free my husband from the duties of work and allow him to live alongside me on saba for the next little while...

all things aside...i have to say that the answer is yes. yes i am excited to start my first day of medical school and be a step closer to becoming a doctor. i don't think about it too much these days between the packing lists, paperwork and fretting about what my husband will eat and if he will clean our home while i am gone...but when i do pause for a moment to think about it, of how far i've come, how long it's taken and now how close it now is...yes, i am very excited to finally begin my medical career. saba here i come!!

"Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest." Hebrews 4:11

Rest. A hard concept to accept for a Type-A workaholic like myself. Or should I say, the self I once was...

I had a cushy government job when I decided to quit work and go back to school. Let me rephrase, I had an awesome job where I enjoyed payed holidays, paid stat days, great colleagues, coffee breaks, benefits and much more. "Why did you quit your job?" Was a question I was often asked shortly I decided to leave my position working for the federal government of Canada. Seemed even a little ludicrous for me to quit my job and go back to school at the ripe age of 29. After which I soon returned to university for two years where my classmates were on average 10 years younger then me.

I'm not sure...it was sort of a feeling in my heart. An inkling. A still, small voice in my heart...

5 years later, after two years of full time university, two part time jobs, a year of studying for the mcat, medical school applications, acceptances and rejections I look back on all the trials and struggles this journey had been wrought with and despite the sacrifices and the hardships, there is a sense of peace with the decisions I have made. Perhaps it's because through the tough times, I drew closer to God. Or perhaps it's because through the tough times I met and married my amazing husband. Or that now I have been rewarded this amazing time of rest. I can finally say that I have learned how to rest, and more so, how to enjoy it. 

I had taken a leap of faith and had landed, safely in the hands of a faithful and loving God.

Was it worth it to follow the voice in my heart I often ask myself...absolutely. I have found that in life, it is always worth it to follow your heart.

T minus 35 days until I land on Saba island.

:)